© Hans Decoz. 2000.
Updated January 2023. All rights reserved.
My birth name was Deborah ... born 10/... in NY. I am now Deborah .... I was wondering if it is my name change that has caused some bad luck or is it possibly my current location (Ohio)? It seems as if my life went downhill after I married.
Thank you for any insight you may be able to give me.
You are wondering whether your name change or your current location caused you bad luck. Your letter did not mention around what time you started feeling as if your life was going downhill, but looking at your current last name in comparison with your maiden name, and the numbers in Ohio, I don't think ether one can be blamed.
So I backtracked through your cycles and noticed that you experienced a period of five years during which you had a 19/1 Essence from age 39 through 43.
Although a 1 Essence generally makes one more independent and assertive, when that 1 is based on the Karmic Debt number 19, some less desirable influences also come into play, such as a loss of personal freedom, perhaps as a result of other people's dependency on you, like young children or elderly parents, or an overly demanding career.
Due to the fact that you also had a 6 Period Cycle during that time, my guess is that the demands of family simply were more than you are comfortable with. A lack of personal freedom can be devastating in the long run, causing great frustration and unhappiness.
This difficult five year period was then followed by a two year Essence cycle of 11/2, another challenging number that can make us extremely sensitive and vulnerable, although also more aware and intuitive.
The feminine 11 cycle immediately following the very masculine 19 cycle always makes it feel like someone ripped off your protective armor. You feel exposed, insecure, and helpless.
However, while those were certainly difficult cycles, I think that the feeling of your life going in the wrong direction became stronger several years later at around age 51 when a 2 Essence combined with a 6 Personal Year cycle put the spotlight front and center on relationship and family (this is probably the year you committed to your current husband).
This was followed by a ten year period of a 5 Essence (in place until 2014) indicating that things were far from stable and serene. There has been little predictability or routine in your life since 2006, as unexpected events, a lack of control and focus, and sudden ups and downs in career and finances leave you feeling like you spent the last five years on a roller coaster.
The good news is that since late last year you have been going through a major transformation and one that eventually puts you back in the driver's seat. By the end of this year you will have completed this conversion from a 6 long-term cycle that lasted for the previous 28 years, and be well into a long-term cycle dominated by the strong-willed and determined number 1 - this time without a Karmic 19 behind it.
I know you have recognized the empowering influence of the 1 for at least 6 months already, you just have not yet taken full advantage of that as you are still held back by the sense that you are responsible for everyone and everything in your family. Sometime during the early part of next year you will gradually regain control of your life, become much more independent, and take back your freedom.
Because you are entering your last long-term cycle, the empowering influence of the 1 will only get stronger as you get older, and while you still have a 5 Essence until 2014, it will anchor the dynamic and hectic energy of the 5 turning it into a force of progress, change, and personal growth.
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