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My name is Raina ..., born 10/... at 5:30pm. My question is, does my number have anything to do with the fact that I have been unable to have a long-term relationship since my husband died almost 21 years ago? Or do I just pick men with the wrong numbers? Can you tell me what my number is and what number I would be compatible with?
Your chart makes a number of things pretty clear. First off, nothing about you is plain and simple. You have a complex chart with quite a few contradicting numbers, which by itself is not all that uncommon.
Most challenging, however, is the fact that your chart is rather lopsided. This can be an advantage in some ways, a disadvantage in other ways. As a rule of thumb, balanced numerology charts, containing a more or less evenly spread arrangement of all or most of the single digit numbers, indicate a more harmonious life, while charts dominated by one or two numbers tend to be more challenging and difficult, especially in one's personal life. However, uneven charts often point to people with unique and focused skills and talents. What we call Keyhole Energy.
In your case, your chart is dominated by the 9 and the 7. The 9 Life Path and Personality, and the 7 Heart's Desire and Expression, as well as Maturity number, Subconscious Self, and a couple of other, less important places.
The only grounded core number is your 17/8 Birth Day number. To use an analogy, you are as withdrawn and dependent on your protective and secluded environment as a monk, while aiming to make the changes and working to better the lives of others like a politician or motivational speaker. Quite a contradiction. You undoubtedly are as familiar and comfortable with yourself as a talkative and convincing debater as you are as a silent observer in the background. You like to analyze information looking for the hidden data, studying people to learn what makes them tick, and so forth.
Your range of possible careers is not all that wide, but working with people as well as data would be a good niche for you. Administrator, organizer, investigator, lawyer, and even politician, would all suit you well.
You mentioned that your husband past away 21 years ago, which would have been during a time when you were moving from your first long-term cycles - both, your Period Cycles and your Pinnacles - into your second cycles. The shift was dramatic, as it often is, but in your case more so than usual, as you moved from a 1 to an 8, and a 9 to an 8 respectively.
In many ways, the fact that you entered long-term cycles covered by the 8 is positive and definitely a stabilizing factor. As for your choice of men, you are a good judge of character when your personal feelings are not involved. In fact, I could have included human resources as one of the potentially fitting careers for you. However, when it comes to your personal life, your ability to judge is severely impaired. This is due mostly to a lack of 4's and 2's in your chart.
Ironically, your Balance number is a 2 based on 11, meaning that when your life is in turmoil - unbalanced, so to speak - you suddenly find your capacity to correctly read and judge your love interest. A bit late by then, of course, but still a big plus in your life, as some people lacking 2's never reach that clarity.
The only thing you can do to prevent from entering your umpteenth disappointing relationship is to teach yourself to objectively and clinically observe and evaluate your next romantic interest the same way you would in a professional setting. I know, good luck on that one. Still, it is your best bet. Think of it as taking a computer program and entering a detailed description of the new person in your life, then hoping the computer okays the relationship. Your mind is the computer, of course. And there is no way the info you enter about your new interest is not going to be colored by the excitement and feelings of romance, still, it is all you can do.
I looked at your future cycles, in particular your Essence and Transit cycles, and noticed that you have a 6 Essence for the three years you are 50, 51, and 52. There is no doubt you will be in a stable relationship, especially since the letter O rules your Spiritual Transit at that time. This does not mean that you don't have a relationship before or after those years. What it does mean is that your life experience during those years is dominated by the relationship and family-like lifestyle, enough to stand out in your chart. Another positive indicator is the 11 Essence for this year (2010) and the next. You are, to put it bluntly, smartening up!
Last but not least, you entered a 1 Pinnacle cycle in 2008. You will continue to be empowered by this 1 for the rest of your life. As you probably already have come to discover about yourself, your confidence and self-awareness have grown and is slowly but surely elevating you to that level when you don't need a romantic partner anymore to feel good and content about yourself. Of course, all things tend to be better if you can share them with someone you love, but the kind of loneliness and dependence you experienced in the past, and blamed on being "alone," no longer has that kind of power over you.
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