© Hans Decoz - 2018.
My name is Monica ... and I was born on 10/.... I have found myself with an extremely challenging life since child hood and I am not sure why. There does not seem to be much reason for it in the numerology reading I got from your site.
It does seem that my expression number and personality number are both 13/4. I was wondering what implications this has for me. Will my life start to get better or even successful at any point?
There are definitely some issues with your chart, but the 13/4 is not the problem. All that means, is that you will have an active, productive life. It both, frustrates due to the slow and sometimes apparently unbalanced ratio of effort and reward, and your mental and emotional need to be always active. I use the word "apparently," because in reality effort and reward are balanced.
The reasons your life has been less than smooth and easy since childhood, is mostly due to the conflicting long-term cycles. Your Period cycles are always 1. There are three of them, each spanning about 30 years, and all three are ruled by the 1. That by itself is not an obstacle. Quite the opposite. What it means is that, from the day you were born, you have been on a fast track to gaining independence and personal empowerment. You have found yourself over and over again, in situations where you had to rely on your own skills and strength to make it to the next face.
Your four Pinnacle cycles, on the other hand, are 2, 2, 4, and another 2. Your First Pinnacle lasts until age 33, and is a 2. The Second Pinnacle is another 2 and lasts from 33 through 42. Your Third Pinnacle cycle is a 4, and lasts from 42 through 51. When Your Fourth Pinnacle cycle, in place until you leave this body, comes into play it is another 2.
The 2 is all about cooperation, tact, diplomacy, feminine resilience, manipulation, gentleness, and so forth. The exact opposite of the masculine, confrontational 1.
Think of it this way. One part of you, the part that guides the path of your personal evolution, toward maturity and beyond, is driven by a warrior-like, masculine force, a formidable fighting power. One that is not afraid to butt heads, take the lead, and force issues.
The other part, the one that delivers what can best be described as motivation and opportunities, is controlled by the gentle force of feminine power, love, care, empathy, etc.
There is a conflict between those two energies, and your job is to become comfortable with both, find a balance, and use them to your advantage. This is easier said than done, and most people with conflicting cycles need time to learn how to do this. The first cycle is always the hardest, as you are young, inexperienced, and not yet able to see the larger picture. Everything is direct and immediate, and life is all about responding, often impulsively.
There are other aspects in your chart that will help you with that. The high number of 3s in your chart, helps you not only to communicate, but to clarify things for yourself. They also bring a deep sense of optimism to the table, even if you don't always feel that way. You tend to see the light at the end of the tunnel quicker than most of us.
The 13/4, although a Karmic Debt number (or perhaps because it is a Karmic number) will help you keep up the effort, pushing forward, and keeping your eye on the ball.
Monica, I can tell you that the strain these two cycles put on each other significantly decreases over time, as you learn, with every trial and error, to make those cycles support each other, as opposed to push against each other. And here is the good news: Once you reach that stage, they become powerful assets. No more intimidating and prevailing force than the combined energies of male and female, masculine and feminine, Yang and Yin. This process is gradual, but certain moments stand out. Around age 33/34, your faith and confidence in yourself jumps, a prerequisite to balancing those cycles. Age 42 is your breakthrough year. After that, it is relatively smooth sailing.
I know, that seems like ages from now, but remember, the process is gradual. You will see improvements every year.
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